Paul - who brings friendly nonsense (blur_kiwi) wrote,
Paul - who brings friendly nonsense

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The Tim Tam Explosion: for Ozrose, to help her in her recovery

This is for ozrose for her to enjoy, help make friends and get messy, all at the same time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Tim Tam Explosion

Perhaps it was as a consequence of being on the road for a long time. It could have been because I was very content and comfortable with my surroundings. Maybe it was because I was simply a very messy eater but I took it upon myself to spread the word about the Tim Tam Explosion. 

I’m not one to freely advertise but if Arnott’s would like to send me a year’s supply of Tim Tams I would certainly not complain. They probably wouldn’t last me a year though. Tim Tams are among the very best things ever to have come out of Australia, without doubt the finest chocolate covered biscuits the world has ever seen. 

It was actually from another of Australia’s great exports, Natalie Imbruglia, that I first learned about this amazing phenomenon. She was on a chat show a few years ago talking about growing up in Oz and, while I am sure it was a great interview, her description of the Tim Tam Explosion was all I remembered and it had me intrigued and keen to give it a go.
The recipe is very simple. You just buy as many Tim Tams as you can justify, afford or carry, make a cup of coffee or tea and find a group of people who you feel might just benefit from your worldly wisdom. 

How to describe a Tim Tam? If you can imagine a wide, rather than thick, Bourbon biscuit and can also imagine it thickly coated in delicious, slightly malleable chocolate, then what you have in your head, gently rotating on a guarded, well-lit plinth, is pretty much a Tim Tam. They come with a variety of fillings between the two biscuity halves but my personal favourites, and the best to use for an explosion, are the Chewy Caramel ones. I’m sure there are others, of the many types available, that would work just as well; it’s just a matter of taste, trial and exquisite error. 

Once you have selected those people upon whom you wish to bestow this sainted wisdom, it is time to demonstrate. Here’s what you do. With your imaginary Tim Tam in mind, carefully bite off the top left hand corner and then the bottom right. With these opposite corners successfully removed, but not wasted, place your mouth over the left corner, creating a seal, and place the lower portion of the splendid confection just below the surface of your hot drink. Now suck. Suck the warm liquid up through your Tim Tam until it has passed beyond the biscuit into your mouth. As soon as you taste coffee, or tea, or whatever you chose as a hot drink, you know that the Tim Tam is full. Now, as quickly as you can, shove the whole thing into your mouth and gently squeeze it against your palette with your tongue. The sensation that follows is just divine, a warm chocolaty explosion, satisfying in the extreme and as addictive as heroin. 

Now you are ready to invite your audience to try it for themselves. They may be reluctant at first and a few more demonstrations might be in order, but that’s no hardship. Eventually someone is bound to pluck up enough courage to give it a go. 

Next, open some more, because Tim Tams only come in packets of nine and each one doesn’t actually last very long. Spread the word. Get your new-found friends to spread the word. As a result the world should be a much happier place.
Tags: nz writing

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