Paul - who brings friendly nonsense (blur_kiwi) wrote,
Paul - who brings friendly nonsense

The coolest job in the world

Here's a bit of a story, an anecdote. It's about me and just one of the funny things that seems to come along and stick.

When I bought my car, some time ago, I asked the company I bought it from if they would kindly organise the insurance for me too. There was a reason for doing this. For many years before that I had had company vehicles, so had no recent insurance history of my own. On top of that, the company I had worked for had gone spectaculary 'tits up' and there was no one to vouch for me. Becky, at the Toyota dealership, was happy to apply on my behalf and that application netted me a significant 'No claims bonus'. I was happy, they were happy and, I suspect, Toyota's insurers were happy too.

And life went on as normal. Because I pay by direct debit, I just get confirmation that everything is carrying on as before and I don't need to do anything at all about renewing it. I like that. They send me a pile of documents I don't even look at - who would? they really aren't remotely interesting. And, most importantly to me, I keep being insured.

That all happened this time around a few days ago. I don't quite know why, because as I've just said, these documents aren't interesting, but I had a quick flick through them as I was putting them back in the envelope. Amongst them was a printed copy of the original application, as filled in by Becky at the dealership. There was my name, address, date of birth and a whole load of other facts. I have to confess that Becky had guessed a couple of things, but that was probably done to put me in the best possible light as a low risk driver.

As I was reading down through the form, I noticed what it said next to the innocuous box labelled 'Occupation'. I had a chuckle. I looked again to make sure I had read it correctly. I had. I chuckled again. Then I thought, and chuckled again. When I had finished chuckling, and thinking, I decided that I probably had the best job in the world. (Not the real world, you understand, just the insurance world.) The form said that my occupation was, 'Inventor'. I hope you're chuckling too.

That was a few days ago, and ever since, in my idle moments, I have been wondering what exactly I invent - or what I would invent if I really was an inventor. I consider myself to be quite a creative person, but invention is creativity with knobs on - metaphorically and, often, literally.

As I say, I've thought long and hard about this and I've come to the conclusion that I would like to invent things that have already been invented. My creativity would be to invent them in a way that meant that they actually last, that they don't fall apart, break or self-destruct. I would, in short, build out obsolescence. I do understand that the long-term effect of that would be to not make any money, but I'd be happy, and so would everyone else.

I'm sure everyone else has a burning idea at the back of their minds, the idea of an invention that would change the world. Fellow inventors, what's yours?

Tags: columns

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